Sunday, January 4, 2015

THE HOWLER Jan 4 - 10

Welcome to my room of twisted ramblings, recovery from a traumatic brain injury, athletic training, vegan munchies, music sensations and social howls.
today 
1/10
Run - 31:09 - 4.06 miles - 7:29 per mile pace - 137 avg HR
Racing a trail 1/2 marathon tomorrow so this was a short run with some tempos thrown in.
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Not much on tap athletically today. Perhaps a quick run with short tempo bursts to get the legs firing before tomorrows trail race in Alva, River, Roots & Ruts 13.1 mile trail race. I don't know where I am at physically so this will be a good test. I certainly am not looking forward to the 2 hour car drive to Alva today. Fra, Mimi's uncle is coming and running the 5k race - he is 76 and preparing for the Vermont Half Marathon in May (which he finished last year). Fra is a kick ass old man and I really do enjoy his company. 

1/9
Run - 1:14:00 - 9.13 miles - 8:06 per mile pace - 125 avg HR

easy steady run in my new light weight sneakers (Asics Gel-exce 33). I moved up a 1/2 size to attempt to save my my feet from continued black toenails.




1/8
Run - 38:10 - 5.46 miles - 6:59 pace per mile - 149 avg heart rate
Greater Fort Lauderdale Road Runner Club group run. I went out with the fast guys. I hung with them (barely); but one of my better runs since the brain injury! I am so happy. I hope this improvement continues - I will sleep well and dream tonight.


1/7
Run - 1:00:07 - 7.83 miles - 7:40 pace per mile - 128 avg heart rate
Good run with some tempo. I never really pushed it; instead just a consistent stride.
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As a long-time fan of both Joy Division and New Order, I am very excited to have tickets to see original member of both bands, Peter Hook, perform a special tribute concert with his current band: Peter Hook and the Light. The show isn't until May, so I wait in eager anticipation.


1/6
Tempo run in town: 1:02:00 - 8.2 miles - 7.33 per mile pace - 146 avg hr
Best run since before last months groin injury. steady pace

1/5
Two solid runs before 9 am yesterday totaling 17.5 miles. The first one was an early morning street run in the dark (I need to try to do that more frequently) and the second was a trail run with hills at Vista View. 
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Then we drove to Orlando to have lunch with my estranged family. I was torn deeply about this; however it ended up being quite nice. I connected with my brother who is very cool. Don and my mother turned out to be moved - as was I - by the meeting. I was nice. But true to form I didn't sugar-coat my feelings and I did communicate related details to each of them. They both were hurt and shed tears - especially my mother. Thankfully, Mimi was there to help my her internalize the definition of my words. Really, I was as gentle as a mouse, but I probably towered like a giant rat. So it goes...
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Easy jog - 1:03:00 - 7.58 miles - 8:18 m/p mile pace - 132 Avg HR

   1/4
It is 1:24 am - and yes, I am up early again. I slept fine but I had to pee so falling asleep again is unlikely, at least immediately. And my head is spinning, complicating my effort to sleep. I need to get up and out for a run early this morning. No f-cking around. I have started the year off poorly with only one run in the first three days of 2015. It is essential to get my training going again as I aspire to ascend from the land of the brain damaged to the realm of the athlete. Also I do not have much time either, as Mimi and I are driving to Orlando today - a 3 hour drive. So most of my day will be in the car. 

I have mixed emotions. I am meeting my half-brother, Leonard (who I am excited to see) and my mother (who I do not know or respect) for lunch today. I do not want to get too personal but my childhood was a fearful time exacerbated by a tortuous stepfather (Don - Leonard's father); who was enabled by my mother, Lois (I will refer to her forward as Lois). I will not detail the horror of my childhood here. Let me just say that I cringe revisiting the memories and I will spare my readers from my the unpleasant gore. I haven't seen Leonard in over 20 years and my mother in at least that long. I know that she visited me at Craig/Swedish hospitals in Inglewood, CO - but I was in a coma so I guess that I didn't mind. Lois began calling me early in my recovery once I was awake and became aware. Conversation was difficult at best and my discomfort was palpable so I stopped taking her phone calls. Yes, I am a cold bastard for sure.


As I said, My brother will be there and this pleases me. I probably wouldn't be having this meeting otherwise. Also my daughter, Nico, is the facilitator of this dance. My daughter is in contact with my mother and she thinks the little old lady is 'cute' and arranged this entire thing. For Nico, I will endure. On one hand, Lois is getting older and it is cruel of me to entirely cut her out of my life. On the other hand, I haven't resolved my anger, resentment and unlike of her. So I will go and eat pizza and drink a beer or two with Leonard, Lois and Mimi (Thank Santa Mimi is coming along too), and be pleasant-like. With Mimi in tow, I will guard my words and smother the bitter with honey. I will be nice.

Did I mention that I need to get out the door and get my run on? It is the dark of night here in SoFla although I do have a headlamp. Maybe I will get going early this morning - I have some thinking to do. One thing for sure, when I am running I think more clearly than I typically do. Okay, I shall rise and do this. This rant will go to rest for now, check back later for an update (or not). Peace and love, Dick Dime

- It is 3:24 am now - and yes I ran in the early morning dark. It was quite nice, actually. I may start doing that more often.
- Run - 1:07:00  - 8.21 miles - 8:09 per mile pace - 133 avg HR

- Run 2 - 1:30:00 - 9.38 miles - 9:36 per mile pace - 136 avg Hr
It feels good to get in 2 runs (17.45 miles) before 9:15 

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