Time to run

Sunday, December 28, 2014

THE HOWLER DEC 28 - JAN 3

Welcome to my room of twisted ramblings, recovery from a traumatic brain injury, athletic training, vegan munchies, music sensations and social howls.
today 
1/3
I wake up early. I usually wake up by 4am and today is no different. I do not know if it is because of my traumatic brain injury or not. It is hard to tell because before my accident I managed a bar and didn't leave until 3:30 in the morning. I slept until 8 or 9 in the morning - like a rock. I rarely woke up before 8am (sometimes an hour or two later). Now, I tend to go to bed early - by 9pm or so; and by 3am I am restless. It is frustrating. So here I am, on my blog typing gibberish, haunting my favorite social networks, etc. This is what I do.  
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Well, I just don't feel right. Another day off. I'm not one to rest a lot, but I'm trying to train smarter than how I typically do. I thought I should force a run; even a shorty, but I know me... once I start, it is on. So, instead I will rest up and see if I am up to snuff tomorrow.


1/2

Run - 1:07:00 - 8.36 miles - 8:00 p/m pace - 135 avg HR
1st run of the year; steady pace

1/1

I am at war
I am looking back a lot lately. The past few years have been an amazing journey as I learn and adapt to living as a challenged traumatic brain injury survivor. Every single day I am tested - both physically and mentally. The seemingly most simple tasks, are complicated. Sometimes I manage a 'work-a-round' until a solution is found. Other times I get into deeper trouble. Sometimes I get lost, sometimes I get hurt - but always I move forward. I am resilient to say the least. I am determined to find the man that I remember (and was). I work extremely hard trying to regain lost physical and mental abilities, and despite constant disappointments, I do not surrender. I am literally at war and I am determined to win. As most of you know, running is important to me. Pre TBI I enjoyed athletic success. Post TBI I again enjoy athletic success. Perhaps the scale has changed, reluctantly, I acknowledge this - but reluctantly is generous. I guess the honest truth is I do not acknowledge 'the new me', I battle the new me. I do not want to grade my performances on a scale. As aforementioned, I am at war and it rages.
Did I say that I am looking forward a lot lately? Well, I am and the future glows. I am winning. I have a team and together anything is possible. With that, thanks for listening, understanding and tolerating this boast. Over the past 3 years I have logged 6700 miles of running. I am proud of this and I never ran that much in my faster life. I will try, but most likely I will never be as fast as I was. Not only do I live with a traumatic brain injury, I am 5 months shy of the big 50.
Forward, March!


12/31
Be safe out there tonight.
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Run - 1:48:00 - 12.91 miles - 1:48:00 - 8:21 per mile pace - 137 avg hr
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I ran a little further today; just enough to log my 2600th mile running for the year. A new record. On the 31st of December last year I ran my 2000th mile. At the time the most I had ever logged in a year (even before my accident). In spite of logging over 7500 miles over the past 3 years, I am still not even close to the runner that I had been before. Yeah, it doesn't matter. As much as I long for the guy I remember, I am pretty stoked about my consistency and dedication. I will keep at it.


12/30

I just don't have any motivation... I have been laying in bed with the puppy for hours. I guess my run is going to not happen today.

12/29
Run - 1:08:00 - 7.7 miles - 7:49 per mile pace - 130 avg hr
A very sluggish jog. I just felt off today.

12/28
Run - 50:00 - 6.27 miles - 7.58 per mile pace - 142 avg hr
I was a little tired and I only had time for a shortish run before football Sunday. Hot today.

12/29