Sunday, February 1, 2015

Great Balls of Fire

Goodness gracious great balls of fire. It is on - ready or not.
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Two weeks out until the A1A Marathon in Ft. Lauderdale. This morning I will run at the trash heap; the goal today is to run an easy steady pace for about 10 miles or so. A slower pace is okay. Even though I am probably not marathon-ready, I need to keep in mind that I cannot get more prepared in these next two weeks; however I can lose fitness or line-up at the race tired.  My focus is to keep the legs firing and to get to the starting line healthy. I think this will be my forth marathon since the TBI. Last year I ran a 3:23 and qualified for Boston. It was my best marathon post-accident. Hopefully I keep it together and run a good race. I don't know where I am at physically - I just need to keep my expectations in check. But that is hard. It would benefit me most to keep this race low key and to view it as quality training day. The thing is, it is just so painful for me; not running itself, but my sense of loss. I have an ongoing internal struggle. After the accident, a central part of me turned up missing; I search. I know that the running part was just a fraction of me, the person; but it is who I remember. My sense of self. Ah, I feel so petty and ungrateful obsessing about such a comparatively small aspect of my life. Obsessive? Yeah, obsess is what I do. But it is important to me as I continue to struggle and attempt to regain my lost running skill. Sometimes I feel like a rat in a cage. I wonder, am I nervous about this marathon? Time to release the big cat... Meow.



Long Slow Distance on the Heap
Run - 2:00:00 - 12.58 miles - 9:32 pace - 119 avg hr
Decent run on tired legs... 850' with of elevation gain.

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